Tuesday, August 16, 2005

A little bit of inspiration today, thanks.

I was feeling sorry for myself this morning.. I needed some inspiration. I decided to read a little bit about Neil Parry, Brian Hall, Reggie Showers, Mike Welsch, Joe Sapere, Jim DeLong and Bill Vanover, Clare Forbes & Terry Fox. What do these people have in common? One thing that links these individuals together is that they are all amputees, like myself.

Neil Parry - Parry lost his lower right leg in 2000 as a result of a break that occurred during a Spartans football game. A severe infection from the break ultimately resulted in the amputation of his leg. “It was rough. I was a Division I athlete in the best shape of my life, the strongest point in my life, and all of a sudden I can’t move. I’m in a hospital bed on an IV and getting attended to by nurses. I couldn’t even eat. I lost 50 pounds. It seemed like everything was taken away from me.” After 25 operations, 15 different prosthetic legs, countless hours of rehabilitation, and years of preparation, Neil was ready to play football again.

On September 18, 2003 after 35 months, Neil played in one play as a blocker on the Spartan’s punt return unit. Spartans head coach Fitz Hill made it clear that Parry’s return was not a charity gesture. “Parry earned his spot fair and square, and he became an example of courage and determination.

Amputation doesn't ruin Parry's dream
"There were times when I would say, `Why?' and `How could this happen to me?' " Neil Parry said. "But I guess an injury happens to somebody who can handle it. I'm able to handle this. I want kids to look at me and say, `Hey, if he can do it, I can too.' " - Neil Parry

BCS chaos pales in comparison to Neil Parry's plight
“It was like my life stopped,” Parry said. “I was worried about what the girls would think when they saw me wearing shorts. I didn’t think I would ever again be able to do the things I loved like hunting or golfing.” - Neil Parry
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Brian Hall - The last amputee to play NCAA football was Brian Hall, who was a field goal kicker for Texas Tech from 1974 to 1976 with a prosthetic SACH foot. Hall was riding on a sprinkler system tractor in 1968 when his foot became caught in a sprocket. Physicians were able to salvage only the heel.

Hall made the freshman Texas Tech team in 1972. He was the leading scorer on his team in his junior and senior years and scored 28 of 38 field goals in his college career. No professional football teams were interested, however, and Hall is now an insurance agent in Dallas.

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Reggie Showers - Showers lost both his legs in a childhood accident and is now the world's fastest amputee; He is an advocate and motivational speaker for the physically challenged.

Some career highlights:
  • 2003: Won his first career event at the prestigious Mac Tools U.S. Nationals; finished a career-best fourth in POWERade standings; earned his first No. 1 qualifying position (Brainerd); recorded career-best numbers in time, speed, elimination round wins and final-round appearances
  • 2002: Advanced to two semifinal rounds, tying a career-best
  • 2001: Broke into the NHRA top 10 Pro Stock Bike standings for first time in his career
  • 2000: Competed in his first full schedule of NHRA Pro Stock Bike events
  • 1989: IDBA Pro Champion and Rookie of the Year
    Former International Drag Bike Association racer with 25 wins in 32 final round appearances.
  • Holds 14 world records in elapsed time and mph.

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Mike Welsh - A Massachusetts man spent 16 hours in New Hampshire's Lake Winnipesaukee this weekend all for a good cause -- to raise money for the Jimmy Fund.

8/8/2005

Amputee swims 16 hours to raise money for Jimmy Fund

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Joe Sapere, Jim DeLong and Bill Vanover - Three amputees rolled into HealthSouth Rehabilitation Hospital in Braintree yesterday, concluding their 4,400-mile cross-country journey. Billing themselves on their Web site as ``Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things,'' Joe Sapere, Jim DeLong and Bill Vanover began their bike trip on June 1. They are members of an amputee awareness group called Amputees Across America.
They visited 32 HealthSouth facilities, several Shriners Children's Hospitals, a Veterans Affairs hospital and local amputee groups along the way.
They were spreading the message that physical disabilities should not stop people from enjoying life to the fullest or taking on physical challenges.

Amputees Across America 2005 Starts Off With Smiles and a Splash

June 13, 2005 - The Amputee Across America (AAA) riders started off this year’s journey with a splash as they had fun wetting their tires in the Pacific Ocean before hitting the coast road toward Newport Beach, California. Joe Sapere and Bill Vanover were joined at the start of the ride by Bill’s daughter, Mandi, and Joe’s son, Jim. Support drivers this year are Joe’s wife, Janette, and Bill’s wife, Trish.

Amputees Across America Spread Hope and Inspiration Through Visitations

June 17, 2005 - Eight visitations in the past two weeks have kept the riders busy! The Amputees Across America (AAA) riders have toured through Nevada, Arizona, and New Mexico and met lots of supporters at rehab facilities along the way. They’ve also been joined by several guest riders, including Jr. Ambassador Chris Rhoades, AAA 2002 alumnus John Keating and his two young sons, and riders from El Paso Corporation, a sponsor of this year’s ride.

Cross-country Journey Heats up for Amputees Across America

July 05, 2005 - As Joe Sapere, Bill Vanover and various Amputees Across America (AAA) guest riders cross the nation’s heartland, temperatures soar into the 100s and the humidity edges higher and higher. After a visitation in Colorado Springs, the group leaves Colorado’s comfortable temperatures behind and breaks out the water pistols as a fun way to cool down when needed.

Three Quarters Down, One to Go

July 15, 2005 - In spite of the summer heat and humidity, Amputees Across America (AAA) riders have completed three-quarters of the 2005 transcontinental journey. Over the past two weeks, the riders have made 10 visitations as they traveled through Missouri, Indiana, Kentucky and West Virginia.

Amputee Riders Cross Pennsylvania

July 29, 2005 - The Amputees Across America (AAA) riders enter Pennsylvania July 16 and spend the next couple weeks riding across the state and making eight visitations to various rehabilitation centers and hospitals in the greater Pittsburgh area, Altoona and Pleasant Gap among other towns.

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Mags, Molly & Me

Last night was horrible.. the girls and I got very little sleep.. for some strange reason the girls kept growling on and off... and I kept waking in fright. I don't know what was going on.. Mags would growl and stare into the dark hallway, scaring the crap out of me. I went to bed at 1am - woke at 2:45, 3, 4 something and then again at 5:45am.. at that time I decided to just get up and have some breakfast. My eyes are burning this morning, it is that time of year.. I hate pollen.. and I really hate those wattle trees. The first August/September I was here in Australia, I sufferred the absolute worst migraines I'd ever had before. They were so bad that I had to go to the doctor because I thought I had a brain tumour or something.. I'm not saying that to be funny, my head hurt like I was going to die from it. It turned out to be sinuses, of course.

I'm yawning now, figures. I may try to take a nap for a few hours.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Super Sexy Saturday!




A Super Sexy Mouse

I'm not sure what to say about this mouse. I've never seen anything like it. Wow, what a mouse, huh?





Super Sexy Snails?

Did you know snails are ambi-sexterous?? Well they are.. check out this article if you ever wondered how snails do 'it'. :)





Super Sexy Then - 1985
~Billy Idol~






Ok, so he doesn't exactly look like this now. I had the biggest crush on him growing up :) I liked his music too. Did you know he has a website?






Super Sexy Now
~ Robbie Williams~




Omg - is he not the sexiest thing alive? I know some of his songs - but his singing isn't what I'm interested in. I just find him to be extremely sexy! To get more of Robbie, visit his website.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Insensitive Fuckers!

I thought I had mustered up the courage to actually get back out into the world. But now I'm not so sure I'm ready.. or if I will ever be ready. I'm not sure I can accept how low some people are.. and just how insensitive and cruel some people can be.. I'm not ready.. :( just not ready.

Ok, so I only have one fucking foot.. and your problem with that is.. what? I'm still the same person I was... albeit a little shyer and less confrontational. I wasn't born this way.. I didn't get this way because I had a horrible contageous disease that you can catch! I died from a stupid acute illness - my pancreas went nuts.. and I quit breathing... lack of oxygen made me lose my foot.. something that could happen to just about anyone.. I was a 'normal' everyday person.. and at times I like to think I still am that normal everyday kind of person. Just a damn foot shorter..

Anyway.. I was planning to meet up with some of the BBBA forum people next Saturday... I was getting all excited about it.. and had even discussed with Amy getting a cover for my prostesis for the get together. That was until I stumbled onto a website a few minutes ago about a chick who went out to dinner yesterday and saw an amputee and she thought he was just the freakish thing ever. I don't think I can go to the get together thinking that people just see me as a freak of nature or something :( I don't know what to think or do now.. I just know I don't want to EVER be seen in public again. I didn't leave a comment on her blog.. she's entitled to her opinion.. it's her blog, her thoughts.. . but it's got me thinking that everyone probably sees amputees as freaks :( She said he shouldn't have worn shorts.. it's summer where she is.. so she thinks that amputee should wear long pants and sweat to death because she's uncomfortable with seeing them..

So since this is my blog, and I'm entitled to my thoughts.. I think insensitive people like this chick should be taken out back and beaten with a huge, wooden, splinted stick... naked of course :)

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Butt Face Towel & A Humping Hound

Gift Idea Thursday:

BUTTFACE TOWEL


Did you ever ponder where on my towel did I wipe what? Now that you've thought about it, you're going to have to get a Butt Face Towel!
Just look how happy these folks are to have their Butt Face Towel. Bold embroidered lettering designates what goes where after your refreshing shower. Once you go Butt Face, you never go back!!
The towel is 100% cotton, about 2 foot by 4 foot in size.


Finally a towel for the anal retentive, yours for only $12.95!






Humphrey the Humping Hound
MOVE OVER ROVER!

Humphrey is excited to see you! Gemmy's Humphrey The Humping Hound will have you and your friends howling with laughter with his unique brand of affection!
Simply strap on Humphrey to any object, squeeze his left ear and watch as this dirty dog barks and gyrates in the classic pooch pose! Battery operation lets you take Humphrey anywhere...
GIVE A HUMPHREY A HOME FOR ONLY $24.95

Blog Blog Blog

I've spent a few weeks now reading other blogs.. trying to get a feel for what others are all about.. what makes them blog, how to blog, what to blog, blog blog blog. I've realised there are a million reasons to blog and even more subjects to blog on about. I think one of the most important things I've learned is.. that I am and have the most boring ass life...EVER... period!

I either have to make up an exciting life - or actually go out and get one.

Spank Me

I should be spanked today. I unplugged that damn ringing phone and did NOTHING all day. Yes, I'm a lazy sort some days. If you can call playing The Sims 2 all day - then, yes.. I did do something :)

Oh well, I think we are all entitled to some r & r.

- Mel

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

That Damn Ringing!!

Someone keeps ringing my home phone, but when I answer - they just sit there or hang up. It all started after we had a little problem with my physio. He made some crappy comments to me a week ago... I won't go into all the details... but, they were bad enough for me to stop all physio with him. I said nothing whilst I was there.. but two days later Glenn rang them and told them I wouldn't be back in.. and explained why. The phone calls started just an hour after that.. and have continued. Today alone - there's been 4 calls since I put it back on the hook an hour ago. They hang up after I say hello. I'm starting to fear the phone..

So much Talent

I feel a little better today, I slept most of the night.. something I am thankful for. Glenn is at work today.. so. I've spent the morning reading blogs and watching news. I've been pretty frustrated by the news lately with all the live coverage from Aruba. Don't get me wrong, I want Natalee to be found alive and well. But I think the amount of coverage this case has gotten is boardering on just plain silly. What about all the other thousands of missing people across America? anway, I won't go into that rant today. It would take up the entire day.

This is the dumbest thing I've heard today...

Cheerleaders Use Chant to Help Police
It appears a man who was involved in an accident in Ann Arbor, Mich, was captured by police with the help of some high school cheerleaders visiting from Lincoln High School in Ypsilanti... The cheerleadering coach said she knew she wasn't going to remember the license plate number because there was too much going on,.. so using their cheerleading skills they said the number over and over turning it into a chant.

So much talent...

What part of the UK are you from?

I had a terrible time staying asleep last night. I thought it was that I was worrying about Caitlin and her eye surgery.. but I soon discovered it was something more. At 3am I was awake and sitting straight up in bed... I felt a little strange.. And I found it odd to have had a headache the past 3 days.. Even after taking medication, it persisted. At 6am, I'm awake once again, this time with horrific stomach cramps. When I got out of bed I felt really dizzy. I woke Glenn and told him of the night I had had.. He said it sounded like I had the stomach bug he had last week.. Actually he'd had it for almost 2 weeks now... on and off. He said not to worry, that it the stomach cramps only lasted him about 48 hours. WHAT? I felt like I was going to die.. Surely, I wasn't going to be like that for 48 hours.

I ended up taking some anti-vomit tablets they gave me for nausea in the hospital. They did work a little.. at least then it was bearable. Since I was awake, I rang Caitlin early at around 7:3am.. She was excited saying she was going to be a pirate.. and wear her new slippers. She also rambled on about Pa buying her a new Barbie backpack to carry her things to the hospital with her. God I love this kid!! She's a mini me, always looking for a bag to put things in! I almost feel guilty putting my addiction of handbags off onto a 3 year old. But not really. :) At least I have a partner in crime, so to speak.

Traci said she and Greg had been up most of the night worried to death about the surgery. I told I had been awake as well.. and she said hopefully it was just nerves.. I agreed.. She said she'd ring me when Caitlin went in for surgery.. They had to be there just after noon - 12:30.

I waited and waited.. and when I heard nothing by 1:3pm.. I finally convinced Glenn we should go down to the village and do some shopping. I needed to pick up a stuffed toy for Caitlin, some tablets from the chemist and told him I'd like to stop in at the video store.. It had been a while since we rented movies. The hardest thing is remembering to return the silly things the next day.. and actually watching them. Well, we rented 2 movies.. and half way through it Big Brother came on.. so I had to turn it off.. We never went back to finish watching it off. I'll watch the other one tomorrow whilst Glenn is at work.

I also ran by EB Games.. There's so many new games coming out that I want.. I'm going to be sooooo broke. I'll have to save up for them... it will cost around $300 for the ones I want. I managed to buy the Prima Hint book for The Sims 2.. it's a pretty good read. Whilst we were waiting for the chemist to fill my prescription I asked Glenn for my phone.. just to check it since we had yet to hear from Traci.. sure enough :( we had somehow missed her call. I was so angry..

We hurried home and I checked the phone messages. Traci had called and said Caitlin had gone into surgery around 1:50pm.. and would be out by 3pm. It was about quarter to 3, so we hurried to get ready and off we went to the hospital. Three blocks from the hospital my mobile rang.. it was Traci asking where we were.. She said Caitlin was out of surgery but not awake. I ended up talking to her until we found her standing outside the hospital. She looked like she had been up all night too.. I wondered if I looked as tired.. *s*.. We went in, but were unable to see her.. I could hear her crying in the recovery room ..and it nearly killed me to sit there and listen to her crying and saying how her little eye was hurting :( Everytime I heard her yell out I wanted to run in there swinging.. I sat there with the big stuffed dog we had bought for her.. and the winnie the pooh card I had made earlier in the morning.. I missed her.. and I felt so bad that she was in pain.. I felt useless..

It was the day surgery waiting room. An older gentleman was led out and sat into one of the recliners near me. I tried to avoid eye contact.. as I didn't feel much like chatting. I was still fighting the stomach cramps and I just wanted to see my girl.. Glenn, of course, made eye contacted and a conversation was started.. How they got onto it.. I don't know.. but they were talking about immigration... the older man was obviously from Ireland.. and was saying how he couldn't understand how people were immigrating here so easily through the 'back door'.. when it took him nearly 6 months coming through the front door.. I finally looked at him and said... "It took me nearly 2 1/2 years and thousands of dollars to come through the front door legally"... He asked what part of the UK I was from.. WOW.. thats a first.. I've never ever been asked that.. always,,.. what part of Canada are you from.. I politely told him I was from South Carolina... in the USA.. I"m sad that the 'southern drawl' is starting to fade from my voice :( I think it's years of trying to hide it due to Sept 11th. When I'm tired though.. it's back and really evident. My heart will always be there... I can almost smell the magnolias.

Caitlin finally came out dressed in her pink Barbie jammies and wearing the new pink slippers Pa bought her. She was crying a little as her Dad carried her out. She had several friends with her... Tiger - sporting a new eye patch.. a crochet doll - also sporting an eye patch. A small Lamb, that I later found that a stranger went and bought for her at the kiosk because she was crying. and a few other small dolls. She gave me a couple of cuddles and Dad sat her on my lap.. I gave her to big floppy stuffed doggie and told her he was a friend of Maggie's.. and that she had sent him to look after her.. She seemed to like that idea and promptly grabbed hold of him and pulled him to her little body for a cuddle. I was so happy to see her.. After a little while, we were told she could go home.. We were almost out the there door.. when... projectile vomiting occurred. :( I thought Glenn and Greg would lose it.. both turned white as a sheet.. The nurse said it would be fine.. and that it was only because she coughed. ok.. fair enough.. I gave her a cuddle and told her I'd ring her in the morning.. I hope she's sleeping ok tonight.. and not in too much pain.

Anyway.. I should try and get some sleep tonight.. so I can get up and exercise in the morning.

I'll be moving my blog in the next few weeks.. I'm changing blogging software and moving it to my own domain and server. Hopefully then I can really get into this blogging thing!

Monday, August 08, 2005


I'm strangely attracted to this animated gif. Don't know why - just thought I'd post it.

Wandering Minds, 10 Questions & A Pirate

I'm having trouble staying focused today.. my mind keeps wandering away from me. God, I hate getting old. I spend way too much time thinking about what I could or should have done.. and wondering if things would have turned out differently had I taken the other path. Yep, it's one big pity-party going on, and I don't know what to do about it. I'm just wallowing in self-pity.

I'll make an effort tonight with ...

~Getting to Know Me~
-Part One-
  • 1. What's your name? :: Melissa
  • 2. Birthplace :: Charleston, South Carolina
  • 3. Age :: 37
  • 4. Age you act :: 4
  • 5. Current location :: Victoria, Australia
  • 6. Eye color :: Blue
  • 7. Hair color :: Strawberry Blonde
  • 8. Right, lefty or ambidextrous? :: ambidextrous
  • 9. Zodiac sign? :: Cancer
  • 10. Height? :: 5'3" 1/2

Tomorrow, Caitlen has her eye surgery. I know I shouldn't be worried. After all, this is the same hospital that saved my life. They're definately highly qualified.. but she's 3 years old.. I can't help but worry. My little shopping buddy isn't going to be very happy tomorrow night. I can't imagine her with an IV in her tiny hand. I've decided to break out my crayolas tomorrow morning and get creative. Everytime Caitlen came to visit me in the hospital she brought me a picture she had drawn and coloured.. so I'm going to do the same for her. Glenn and I are also buying her a teddy.. and we're going to bandage his right eye... just like hers! Her Mum told her she was going to look like a pirate after the surgery.. what a great way to try and ease the fear of having her eye bandage,. Caitlen loves the whole pirate idea.. and is looking forward to it. I've set my clock so I can get up early and ring her on the phone before she leaves for the hospital. I'll be crazy until she's out and full recovered!

Monday, August 01, 2005

The Day I Died - January 13, 2005

It's almost eerie reading my posts leading up to January 13,2005. I had no idea what was going to happen. I knew I was ill, something I had known for a long time. But never in a million years did I think I was going to die.

On January 13,2005 - I reluctantly drove Glenn to work.. I was feeling so bad.. worse than I had in a long time. I don't even remember what I did - it was a Thursday - so probably not much. I thought I had the flu or a stomach bug that was going around. All the kids had it at my neices house.. so I honestly thought that is what was ailing me.

When I picked Glenn up from work.. I told him how bad I felt.. My skin was burning :( and I felt dehydrated. On the way home, I started having trouble breathing.. Glenn said I didn't look very well and asked if I thought it was bad enough to go to the hospital. I told him yes... by that time we were pulling into the frontyard. Glenn said he would just pull in and back out to go back into the city. It was getting harder and harder to breath. I was crying halfway back to the hospital.. whatever it was, it was getting worse. I started having severe abdominal pains.. crying wasn't making it any easier. We got to the hospital and I got out at the emergency dept front door whilst Glenn parked the car.. There's never any parking around the hospital..

Once inside, I started feeling like I was going to throw up. I went into the bathroom and did just that.. I don't remember falling on the floor, but I remember waking up with my head near the toilet bowl. I started screaming because of the pain in the abdomen. It was so hard to breath.. I started calling for Glenn. He came running along with the nurses. They rushed me into the back and put me in a cubicle.. and told me the doc would be right with me. I was screaming.. I knew at this point I was dying.. I kept telling Glenn I was dying.. Glenn doesn't scare easy.. but I could see it in his eyes.. he was scared too.. all of a sudden he said.. OMG you're hands and feet are turning black. I looked down, and totally freaked out.. he was right.. My hands were a blue colour.. I had sandals on,. I took one look at my feet and passed out.. They were black.. not blue.. :( Every part of my body was hurting.. it was hard to breath.,. It felt like someone was sitting on chest :( my feet and hands hurt so badly that I couldn't move them. I knew I was dying. That is the last thing I remember about January 13, 2005.

I woke up a week later in the ward in a private room.. with an extremely nervous looking Glenn sitting by my side. I had tubes and wires coming out and going in all kinds of places of my body. I felt weak and sick.. and I was confused as hell. I had no idea what day or time it was. the only thing I knew is that I was sick.... very very sick..

Glenn explained to me what had happened in the ER. Apparently, I passed out and then stopped breathing. I was revived twice before I was stablized.. I was kept in the resus room with a breathing tube for over 24 hours because they were unsure whether I would make it.

After 250 tests... they found several things that caused Jan 13th.. I had suffered a severe acute pancreatitis attack. I was suffering from a disease called cryofibronogenia (I dont know if that is the correct spelling.. will look it up later)... to top it off.. I also have small vascular disease.. (Smoking for 15 years probably didn't help that one bit!) The pancreas was swollen so much that it cut off my breathing.. They are unsure whether the pancreatitis set off the cryo disease.. or if the cryo disease made the pancreas go crazy.. The reason my hands and feet were turning blue/black is because my body was trying to save itself.. clotting off the limbs to save itself.. lack of oxygen and blood flow I guess.

I didn't realise for a couple of days that my left foot was still black.. They told me they hoped it would come good. They had me try and walk on it.. which was the most painful thing I'd ever felt.. the damn thing was black.. hello? it's black! I couldn't walk on it. I had several procedures over the next few days to try and save the foot.. none of which worked.. I was in severe pain.. and was already on a morphine pump that I was pushing every 5 minutes or so.. it just wasn't working :( They started me on another pain medicine pump.. called ketamine. It only worked for me for about 20 minutes or so.. and then I was back in pain. The pain was so bad that I couldn't think straight. I would try to speak or think and I just couldn't do either. It was unbelievable :( and very scary. The doctors told Glenn and I if they tried to give me any stronger pain medication it would put me in a coma. We all agreed that was not the way to go. The other thing to do was to amputate the foot :( it had sustained severe nerve damage on Jan 13... and just couldn't be saved.

At this point I could still slighty move my toes.. so I had hope :( On Feb 2, I noticed that I could no longer move the toes.. and the leg was starting to swell and tighten from the fluid. I didn't understand how I just couldn't move the foot :( I could see it, feel the pain from it.. but could not move it even slightly. I knew at this point it was over.. and we made the decision to have my left foot removed. Two days later, I was given an epidural:


ep·i·du·ral Listen: [ p-drl, -dyr- ]adj.
Located on or over the dura mater. n.
An injection into the epidural space of the spine.


Never choose this type of sedation for anything other than giving birth :(:( It was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. I could hear them the entire time. I heard them removing my foot. I still have nightmares once in a while about it.

The day after the amputation, the swelling in my leg started to go down. The pain immediately went away.. I couldn't even look under my blanket :( I couldn't bare to see my leg all bandaged, knowing that my foot was gone. I hated myself, I hated life.. and I thought at that point there was no way I'd ever be able to go on. I thought over and over how I wished they had not saved me. During my life when things went wrong, I'd run away.. I realised that this time, things were going to be very different. My life was going to be very different.

On Feb 19 I was relocated to Grace McKellar Rehab Centre.. The ride in the taxi was a scary one. I was in the wheelchair in the back of the taxi. I didn't feel safe at all.. :( It swayed from side to side.. My mind was filled with thoughts of suicide on a daily basis. There was no way I could spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.

I started physio immediately.. and in only a week or so I was being fitted and casted for a new foot! I took my first steps 2 1/2 weeks after my surgery whilst I still had stitches. I was determined to walk again.. I had no choice!

I left Grace McKeller the first week of March... Coming home was a shock.. I could stand for a few minutes, walk a few steps at a time aided with crutches. My pancreas was still very angry - and over the next couple of months I went into hospital ever few weeks.. for 4 - 8 days at a time. When you get pancreatitis - the treatment for it is... no food and no water.. That is all they can do.. is let the pancreas rest :( They put you in a ward with 3 or 4 other people who CAN eat.. so you have to watch them and smell their food.. There were many times I wanted to bash someone for a piece of dry toast.. After about 5 or 6 times going in hospital - I started taking M & M's or a small bag of gummy bears with me.. and I'd eat 1 or 2 of them a day when my tummy would growl :( it was the only way to survive. The initial pancreatitis attack was so severe that it started to digest itself. I now have a quarter of a pancreas left.. and on it there's a 8mm cyst. It was 10mm in the beginning.. but thankfully it has begun to shrink.

If I eat anything that has fat in it.. I usually have about an hour before I need to be in the ER. It is that bad :( Luckily though, we are learning how to live with this.. The doctors say there is nothing they can do.. and hope that the pancreas will eventually burn itself out. I am on insulin already.. Im not sure what the game plan is for when that happens.. I guess I will cross that road when I get to it.

Anyway.. back to the foot.. I now walk really well.. and on a good day..(when the foot is fitting perfectly..and the pancreas is not angry) you can't tell the foot isn't real.. Towards the end of the day.. or when I am tired, I tend to limp or favour the left leg.. :)

I have finished my physio at the moment and am exercising at home on the stationary bike.. and doing alot of walking in the shops.. ohhh how I love to shop :)